Having super active kids is so challenging. My wife is working as a school teacher, so I have to do the daddyneering of my two kids. This is my every day routine from morning until three in the afternoon. I have my online job from three to eleven in the evening. In spite of being a working dad, finding time to enjoy the great challenge of daddyneering is a priority.
Does daddyneering sounds funny? Well, it is because I am an engineering graduate. So maybe being a dad sounds like daddyneering. Well, that sounds silly.
After our wedding, it took us three years before we had our first baby girl. But after that, another baby boy followed in less than a year. That’s difficult but it is already there. We use the natural family planning method, and we missed! It was a strong one shot, and immediately I told my wife that it will be a baby boy!
As of this writing my baby girl is turning three years old (Saturday, May 20, 2017). My baby boy is two years old. Both can now walk and talk. Kiara Francheska is learning faster. Kian is also catching up. They are both hyper active and they will demand for your attention. They laugh a lot. Actually there is no day without a laugh trip for us. But I make sure there is limit because i believe that too much of everything is not good.
This sensorimotor stage of development is crucial to them. They are observing their environment. According to Lev Vygotsky’s zone of proximal development, children at this stage can actually perform cognitive actions prior to arriving at developmental stage as a result of their interaction with the society. The problem is, there are children around who are bad influence. That’s when daddyneering comes in. I have to divert their attention and invite them to a play with papa.
This routine isn’t easy. Most men find it boring. As a result, those who can afford to hire prefer to leave all the daddyneering task to a nanny. We have tried it, but I don’t like it. I prefer to take care of my babies and put my heart into it. Then I realized that daddyneering is not that boring. You just need to put your heart and mind to it.
Kids need your full attention. Giving them only half of it will either irritate them, or yourself.
When I feel their naughtiness as a destruction, It is not because they are naughty. It is because I did not give them my full attention. As a result, I view them as a disturbance rather than joyful partners who just need my attention and time.
Every time spent with them is worth it. We develop a good relationship. Their smiles are priceless. Their laughter is just so awesome. It is what I really missed when I am far away. It is also what excites me when I go home. The two will be running towards me when I arrive home, so excited to see their papa. That feels awesome! No amount of money can buy it.
Although hands-on daddyneering is good, there are disadvantages also. Sometimes I feel they become dependent. That’s when I have to be strict to them. Skinner’s operant conditioning plays great role in situations like this. As a dad, I have to apply positive and negative reinforcement, whichever may suits best.
In facing the challenge of daddyneering, I found Ivan Pavlov’s classical conditioning interesting and of great help too. This is useful in training kids like going to poo every morning and practicing to do something that is of a routine. I use to bath both of them early in the morning. The next day, they wanted to take a bath as soon as they wake up.
Being a hands-on dad is truly challenging, but the solution to this difficulty is simple. We just need to put our heart and mind to what we are doing. Kids need a dad whom they can play with and laugh with. A dad who can hug, comfort, and care for them. They need guidance and complete attention that demands our time. Daddyneering, the great challenge of fathering our kids is worth a try. The reward is immeasurable happiness!